Reality

Oh the joy of coming back to reality.

Came back home from paradise a week ago. The night before we came home, which would be the evening that we went snorkelling with the turtles POD experienced a panic attack at 4am, ended up trying to find some sodium bicarb from the security guards whilst she being sick in the loo, due to acid reflux, due to panic, due to too many puffs on her inhaler. Couldn’t get sodium bicarb so opted to talk about all manner of things in vain hope that I’d take her mind off it and hey presto it worked. Then took her for walk round the hotel grounds dressed in pyjamas…I was hoping for a glimpse of the monkeys but they did not materialise. Very sad to leave Barbados behind. And come back to THIS!!!

On the Saturday I went to Aunt Vivian’s 70th birthday party, taking Prawn with me as it said to bring ‘partner’. Got very confused by fact that ex-husbands entire family also going yet their invitations were for 2 hours before mine. What?? So turned up when I felt like it to find myself in the midst of a family wedding that I clearly wasn’t meant to attend…along with my pal. I had only gone and worn White… aaaaargh. Ex-husband’s cousin Catherine had got married to Gary in secret and decided to combine it with Vivian’s party. Place full of South Africans. Decided to get pissed and leave car there in church hall car park, much to the Thing one’s disgust. So chatted to several guests and secured lifts home for me, prawn and both things. Noticed at this point that ex husband had look of disapproval as he was witnessing this. I then noticed that lots of people had picnic blankets to eat their hog roast on so I got my sleeping bag out of the car…. Noticed that ex-husband expression starting to look like contempt. I then had major argument with thing one as she announced she wanted to go home early. Thing two got ex-husband involved…By this time I’d had 3 glasses of wine and was sprawled across sleeping bag. Now what did he say. Oh yes I remember.
He said “Why can’t you do as they want?”
Me “because I’m in charge, not them and I’ve decided that I’d like to stay and have a drink. You are supposed to back me up”
Him “well if you stop now, you could still drive home”
Me “I’ve had 3 glasses of wine”
Him “Yes, but you’d be ok”
Me “Are you suggesting I drink and drive with out daughters in the car?”
Him “This is not the place for you to be arguing with Thing one”
Me “I’m going to get some more wine”
Him (with look of total hatred) “What you going to do with this thing”(referring to sleeping bag)
Me “I’m going to come back and sit on it”
With that he took Thing one inside and left me to enjoy myself. Hooray. Now I remember why he’s my ex-husband. Embarrassed by a sleeping bag!! Hoot hoot.
Rest of party went with a swing. Thing one did not get her way. Ex-husband had to live with blue sleeping bag. I no longer accountable to him.
Mint xx