Mums Wedding

After huge preparation and much anxiety over cakes, not me I might add, I always knew they'd be fine - I've had enough practise but try telling that to my Mum who clearly has no faith in me and continuously harrassed me on daily basis to see if I'd done them yet. As proof that I did do what I said I was going to do I'm posting photo's. Wedding Day arrived Saturday, I got up at ridiculous hour due to the fact that hot water coming out of tap at virtual trickle and had to start bath running hour before it would be ready for reluctant things to get in. Hot water now ok - well it would be wouldn't it now that event has passed. Had screaming match with thing one who wouldn't put dress on or wear white thing I got for her hair. Threatened her with instant death if she not put it on. I got to give Mum away so was proper part of ceremony which went very well. Was most amused when it came to Vic's unexpected vows. Went like this..."Do you Victor, Reginald, Richard, Arthur, Gerald, Lincoln, Dougal, Montgomery, Rupert Tadling take so and so to be your lawfully wedded wife. At end of ceremony he turned and pointed at his mother and said "It's your fault", this was followed by numerous chuckles from all the guests. His mother was a total scream, which I'll come to in a minute. Going into registry office was fine, coming out not so good when my mother in law got her shoe stuck to water grid, aka drain, grid came with her when she walked and it took 4 grown men to detach her from it. I reckon she did it on purpose...must remember this ploy when trying to attract man. We then all stood in freezing cold and I nearly got frost bite whilst photographer took more photo's than I considered necessary. Then he made us go to the park for more, think I was scrowling in most of them. We then all went in giant parade to the Chinese to eat copious quants of msg and odd looking stuff. Now as I said, Vic's mother was a total scream, took Prawn to the reception later in the evening and once seated she totters over to us in 4 inch heels, which apparently she has been wearing since she was 14 and now can't get her feet flat as they permenantly shoe shaped, even has to sleep in them. She's 83 years old and looks like a very thin version of Barbara Cartland, wrapped up in white fur. She clearly short sighted as she put her hand on Prawns arm, looked at me and says "you must be very proud of this one". Didn't have the heart to put her straight, so I went along with it, so so funny. Prawn now keeps calling me Mum.
There was a belly dancer for the cabaret, see photo's, belly dancer is friend of my mothers and usually uses a walking stick but seems to be able to get down on it and wiggle when called for. Among the other guests there were also 5 head teachers, one of whom is my God Mother, the rest are my mothers best friends. They not any old Head Teachers either, 2 of them are what they call "Super Head Teachers", the sort that go into inner city schools and turn them around. What I don't understand is as I've been surrounded by this intellect all my life how come none of it has rubbed off on me?? Just don't get it. She also had friends from her Art Class, Spanish Class, Victim Support, the Running Club and Oxfam. Needless to say most of guests were hers not his..except I have now gained 2 sisters, one of whom is wealthy accountant. They both perfectinists and they did the food, I later learned that they didn't actually cook the quiches or the samosas...tut tut. Accountant Sister is also bit of snob, and when she heard that some flat near her posh house were going to be used for social housing, she complained bitterly that it was so unfair that she'd have SINGLE MUMS and Eastern Europeans on her doorstep. All I can say is don't knock it till you've tried it. Am very pleased all round with the union. Fab party, didn't even mind the Status Quo. Thing two spend evening under table telling me she hate me as I had deleted her video which had used entire memory card in camera. She has since forgiven me. phew.
Mint x