Just So Festival and total disaster

Now where was I, ah yes, about to head off on a double barrelled holiday.  Beginning with the Just So Festival which I found in The Bookseller.  Literary and Inspirational Festival aimed directly at children.  Set off with just myself and Thing Two, Thing One opted not to come as it really not her thing.  Journey was good, only 3 things went wrong, went the wrong way up the A515 almost ended up in Birmingham, added additional 40 minutes onto journey time, popped into some service station toilets and accidentally trailed bottom of trouser leg in something that I thought was water - it was not - it was urine.  Went into loo smelling of Marc Jacobs Daisy and came out stinking like I'd been wee'd on by 60 dogs.  Attempted to dry leg under dryer and attracted lots of strange looks. Think they thought I was doing the Can Can.  Got stuck on M11at beginning of journey but it all turned out ok - the accident was going the other way.  Arrived in remote farm near Leek, supposed to be 6 other families there camping in Farmers Field as festival field fully booked unfortunately none of the other families turned up so it was just us, the two of us, all on our own in the rain surrounded by cows.  Farmers granddaughter came and made friends with Thing Two, they got on really well, sent Thing Two up to farm with tin of curry to open as I'd forgotten my tin opener and she returned saying we were to go to the Farm for drinks and pudding..Hooray!  Ended up in farmers kitchen with dozens of family members being plied with wine (I'd already drunk 2 glasses before I got there) and eating home made blackberry and apple crumble.  So friendly.  Got up bright and early and went to festival.  Festival was completely awesome.  We joined in with a special production of the Pied Piper opera.  I was a citizen and thing two was a rat.  We had to learn operatic songs and perform to an audience.  We did a fairy trail and got to meet the fairy queen, made sandcastles, met The Gardeners (specially dressed ladies giving away seeds), made badges with the RSPB, did an outdoor activity circuit, made a lantern in preparation for the lantern parade, watched a black and white silent movie in a makeshift cinema fully decked out with plush red seats and much much more.  Then disaster struck.  It was whilst we were having a story read to us in the story tent by a prolific children's author that I got the call.  Thing One phoned to say that my 5 foot wide very very expensive round glass table had smashed.  She offered a crap explanation and I pretty much exploded.  Had to leave the festival to go in search of cigarettes to calm myself down.  Very nearly drove all the way home there and then but decided to return to festival as it not fair on thing two.  Managed to get back into the swing of it...just.  Ate a big pile of noodles and found the lantern parade to be a total tonic.  Pretty aggravated by mother in law suggested I should not be uptight over table.  Ignored this.  Not uptight.  Positively murderous.  Drove home at 100mph following day - did accidental detour of Stoke on Trent followed by purposeful detor of thing ones friends parents house to get full story before murdering thing one.  Turned out she'd had a party.  Thing one's friends mother went bonkers - her reaction could be heard in New Zealand.  They had both lied about staying at each others houses and had snuck into house. Friends turned up stoned (they get their weed from older siblings...how utterly disgusting) and with vodka and big bottle of Bulmers, she not able to control them.  Someone jumped on table, cracked it and of course when her friend tried to move it the following morning it disintegrated. Anyway, went potty, passed sentence on thing one, she not allowed friends in house for one full year and not allowed to go to anyone else's sleepover either.  She is also paying the excess on the table insurance. This money is coming directly from her savings. Found loads of things broken.  Felt violated, sad and sickened by whole experience.  BUT as we heading off to Denmark the following day I decided to let it go and make the most of our holiday.  Denmark details to follow...and it was a lovely holiday.  Thing one totally repentant and very much changed for our time away.