Brighton, Romans and Russian Roulette

Morning fellow bloggers, tis pouring with rain outside and I have just woken with compelling urge to update my blog. Not that I've been doing anything especially exciting...apart from my trip to Brighton with 35 women on a coach, 35 drunk women and one drunk man who failed to make it back to coach at midnight to be exact. A fine time was had by all except the poor person who had to clean coach. That can't have been much fun oh and drunk guy who was found the following day in accident and emergency with broken jaw. Oh the joys of alcohol. He thinks he fell off a railing. That was a couple of weeks ago and I then had a weekend of doing nothing as I completely and utterly partied out. But now as December approaches I'm revving up again for festive season. I've also been trying to pull my routine back together as it fall apart over last year. The things have been going to bed when i do and thats got to stop. So, one night last week I actually got them in their rooms at 8:30 this a a great achievement. On the down side I did have one day this week when all was not well. Yes, it was Roman Day at Thing two's school, they have a history day once a year and they all have to get dressed up so I borrowed a very nice outfit and dressed her in it. Simple. Took her to school and all would have been well had she not refused to bring coat. So I took tearful thing two into the classroom to ask teacher if she could borrow a fleece or something from lost property when they went out to play. Big mistake. Could not believe what greeted me when I got inside the classroom. Yes, I was horrified, mortified out of my skin. For there before me was sight of classroom of children with most amazing outfits, jewellery, gladiator sandals, full make up, all the girls had the most elaborate hair. One of them had zillions of little plaits and her mother had actually sewn pearls randomly into it. One of them was sporting a wig and looked like she just stepped out of the colosseum. Thing two on the other hand was wearing knackered boots, flimsy white toga things that not fit that well and had not even managed to drag brush through hair. Anyway the guilt was too much for me I declared myself a failure and cried all the way to work. Then it occured to me that even if I had had the time and desire to sew pearls into thing two's hair I would not have been able to as she wouldn't have let me, she was too nervous and when that happens she acts most odd and in fact even getting her to put underwear on was a trial....she very difficult customer in the mornings. Need not have worried either as she came home full of joys of Roman times they had even laid on a fully fledged banquet of stuffed olives, quails eggs, piles of fruit, cheese, grapes and vine leaves. I tell you they do things differently over the border!
On a completely different note I have been thinking this week about the society we live in...and do you know what it occured to me that if I were Rhiannon (r&b singer form Barbados) I really don't think it was very responsible to bring out a song called Russion Roulette. Mark my words, someone will try it for sure then it will become a craze and kids will be pointing loaded guns at their heads in their lunchbreaks. So a little debate here. If that were to happen should she be held responsible, could her words be considered incitement to suicide? I think so. Let me know what you think in the comments box.
me xxx

Mums Wedding

After huge preparation and much anxiety over cakes, not me I might add, I always knew they'd be fine - I've had enough practise but try telling that to my Mum who clearly has no faith in me and continuously harrassed me on daily basis to see if I'd done them yet. As proof that I did do what I said I was going to do I'm posting photo's. Wedding Day arrived Saturday, I got up at ridiculous hour due to the fact that hot water coming out of tap at virtual trickle and had to start bath running hour before it would be ready for reluctant things to get in. Hot water now ok - well it would be wouldn't it now that event has passed. Had screaming match with thing one who wouldn't put dress on or wear white thing I got for her hair. Threatened her with instant death if she not put it on. I got to give Mum away so was proper part of ceremony which went very well. Was most amused when it came to Vic's unexpected vows. Went like this..."Do you Victor, Reginald, Richard, Arthur, Gerald, Lincoln, Dougal, Montgomery, Rupert Tadling take so and so to be your lawfully wedded wife. At end of ceremony he turned and pointed at his mother and said "It's your fault", this was followed by numerous chuckles from all the guests. His mother was a total scream, which I'll come to in a minute. Going into registry office was fine, coming out not so good when my mother in law got her shoe stuck to water grid, aka drain, grid came with her when she walked and it took 4 grown men to detach her from it. I reckon she did it on purpose...must remember this ploy when trying to attract man. We then all stood in freezing cold and I nearly got frost bite whilst photographer took more photo's than I considered necessary. Then he made us go to the park for more, think I was scrowling in most of them. We then all went in giant parade to the Chinese to eat copious quants of msg and odd looking stuff. Now as I said, Vic's mother was a total scream, took Prawn to the reception later in the evening and once seated she totters over to us in 4 inch heels, which apparently she has been wearing since she was 14 and now can't get her feet flat as they permenantly shoe shaped, even has to sleep in them. She's 83 years old and looks like a very thin version of Barbara Cartland, wrapped up in white fur. She clearly short sighted as she put her hand on Prawns arm, looked at me and says "you must be very proud of this one". Didn't have the heart to put her straight, so I went along with it, so so funny. Prawn now keeps calling me Mum.
There was a belly dancer for the cabaret, see photo's, belly dancer is friend of my mothers and usually uses a walking stick but seems to be able to get down on it and wiggle when called for. Among the other guests there were also 5 head teachers, one of whom is my God Mother, the rest are my mothers best friends. They not any old Head Teachers either, 2 of them are what they call "Super Head Teachers", the sort that go into inner city schools and turn them around. What I don't understand is as I've been surrounded by this intellect all my life how come none of it has rubbed off on me?? Just don't get it. She also had friends from her Art Class, Spanish Class, Victim Support, the Running Club and Oxfam. Needless to say most of guests were hers not his..except I have now gained 2 sisters, one of whom is wealthy accountant. They both perfectinists and they did the food, I later learned that they didn't actually cook the quiches or the samosas...tut tut. Accountant Sister is also bit of snob, and when she heard that some flat near her posh house were going to be used for social housing, she complained bitterly that it was so unfair that she'd have SINGLE MUMS and Eastern Europeans on her doorstep. All I can say is don't knock it till you've tried it. Am very pleased all round with the union. Fab party, didn't even mind the Status Quo. Thing two spend evening under table telling me she hate me as I had deleted her video which had used entire memory card in camera. She has since forgiven me. phew.
Mint x

Halloween Edition

Last weekend was the weekend of MY PARTY. You have no idea how stressed I got over the guest list. I invited random people, which on hindsight was a huge mistake. I also took an entire day off work to clean my house and decorate it. It was a few days prior to party that I started to get sense of forboding regarding guests. But as Oscar Wilde would say "The party was a great the success but the guests were dreadful". The guests that did come are now to be considered guests for life and will be getting extra nice Christmas cards from me with chocolate in them and the people that let me down especially her next door are to be viewed with great suspicion. I knocked next door on the day of party and asked her if she still coming and she said very deadpan "Nah, forgot". So I said "did you" in very questioning tone. She then said "We're going out". I not like her anymore. Consequently when I reversed into her car the other day, and I'd like to point out right her that I didn't damage it at all, but if I had I think I would have thought twice about owning up. Anyway not to dwell on that party was indeed great success, hysterically funny, lots of daft games including the Mummy Game, Wake the dead, the Marshmall game and of course the donut game, just to add an extra dimension to the donut game I bought chocolate filled ones, the chocolate ending up all over my guests. HA HA HA Thing two was allowed to bring a friend, who's father asked her when he came to collect if she'd had a good time and she said "Not the best". OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh.
The Brownies had their own Halloween night as well which I attended and offered my services, ended up serving the food and cleanaing the kitchen. Brownies highly excitable and all was going well until the arrival of the Hornet, they all went beserk and started screaming. Brown Owl appeared with big knife and chopped it in half. Eeergh. SHe really is a top Owl.
My Mother also had her Hen night which was pretty good for a bunch of older ladies, I like all her friends except for one, her name is Bug Face and I really can't stand her, she managed to insult me twice in one hour but I kept if together for sake of my mother, would have rather like to have told her to bog off back to bugland where she belongeth.
Mint xxx