Just So Festival and total disaster

Now where was I, ah yes, about to head off on a double barrelled holiday.  Beginning with the Just So Festival which I found in The Bookseller.  Literary and Inspirational Festival aimed directly at children.  Set off with just myself and Thing Two, Thing One opted not to come as it really not her thing.  Journey was good, only 3 things went wrong, went the wrong way up the A515 almost ended up in Birmingham, added additional 40 minutes onto journey time, popped into some service station toilets and accidentally trailed bottom of trouser leg in something that I thought was water - it was not - it was urine.  Went into loo smelling of Marc Jacobs Daisy and came out stinking like I'd been wee'd on by 60 dogs.  Attempted to dry leg under dryer and attracted lots of strange looks. Think they thought I was doing the Can Can.  Got stuck on M11at beginning of journey but it all turned out ok - the accident was going the other way.  Arrived in remote farm near Leek, supposed to be 6 other families there camping in Farmers Field as festival field fully booked unfortunately none of the other families turned up so it was just us, the two of us, all on our own in the rain surrounded by cows.  Farmers granddaughter came and made friends with Thing Two, they got on really well, sent Thing Two up to farm with tin of curry to open as I'd forgotten my tin opener and she returned saying we were to go to the Farm for drinks and pudding..Hooray!  Ended up in farmers kitchen with dozens of family members being plied with wine (I'd already drunk 2 glasses before I got there) and eating home made blackberry and apple crumble.  So friendly.  Got up bright and early and went to festival.  Festival was completely awesome.  We joined in with a special production of the Pied Piper opera.  I was a citizen and thing two was a rat.  We had to learn operatic songs and perform to an audience.  We did a fairy trail and got to meet the fairy queen, made sandcastles, met The Gardeners (specially dressed ladies giving away seeds), made badges with the RSPB, did an outdoor activity circuit, made a lantern in preparation for the lantern parade, watched a black and white silent movie in a makeshift cinema fully decked out with plush red seats and much much more.  Then disaster struck.  It was whilst we were having a story read to us in the story tent by a prolific children's author that I got the call.  Thing One phoned to say that my 5 foot wide very very expensive round glass table had smashed.  She offered a crap explanation and I pretty much exploded.  Had to leave the festival to go in search of cigarettes to calm myself down.  Very nearly drove all the way home there and then but decided to return to festival as it not fair on thing two.  Managed to get back into the swing of it...just.  Ate a big pile of noodles and found the lantern parade to be a total tonic.  Pretty aggravated by mother in law suggested I should not be uptight over table.  Ignored this.  Not uptight.  Positively murderous.  Drove home at 100mph following day - did accidental detour of Stoke on Trent followed by purposeful detor of thing ones friends parents house to get full story before murdering thing one.  Turned out she'd had a party.  Thing one's friends mother went bonkers - her reaction could be heard in New Zealand.  They had both lied about staying at each others houses and had snuck into house. Friends turned up stoned (they get their weed from older siblings...how utterly disgusting) and with vodka and big bottle of Bulmers, she not able to control them.  Someone jumped on table, cracked it and of course when her friend tried to move it the following morning it disintegrated. Anyway, went potty, passed sentence on thing one, she not allowed friends in house for one full year and not allowed to go to anyone else's sleepover either.  She is also paying the excess on the table insurance. This money is coming directly from her savings. Found loads of things broken.  Felt violated, sad and sickened by whole experience.  BUT as we heading off to Denmark the following day I decided to let it go and make the most of our holiday.  Denmark details to follow...and it was a lovely holiday.  Thing one totally repentant and very much changed for our time away. 

Summer Fruits

My summer holidays may be a rollercoaster ride but I know that sooner or later I'll even out onto a less dramatic level...well I hope so anyway!  I've joined a gym and have been swimming 4 times in the last week, have taken both things, each with a friend and I've spent time in the gym, mainly sprawled across powerplates being vibrated to an inch of my life and I've bought a new dress...Guess What!!! It's a size 10.  Yee haa.  Today has been so lovely I just had to record it here.  We have one of thing two's school friends for the day and night, we've been to The Lakes and to The Ada Cole Horse Rescue Centre. We've picked blackberries and baked a very very berry and apple sponge.nbsp;&

Summer hols

I absolutely cannot fathom where all the time has gone!  It's August 1st already and we're a week into the summer holidays.  Summer holidays had a truly horrendous start, on the final day of term I decided to check with the last few mums who hadn't replied to Thing Two's birthday invitation.  I've been getting a very bad vibe off some of these women of late. So it came as no surprse to get a few declines, but to have one of them point blank refuse to discuss invitation with me was rather a shock...she looked shocked that I would even dare speak to her and referred me to the head...
Her "I can't discuss with you, you need to speak to head teacher"
Me "sorry, what you talking about?"  I was in state of total confusion having simply asked if snot face coming to party.
Her "You know, you discussed with Mrs West"
Me "What did I discuss with Mrs West?"
Her " About Thing two hurting snot face"
Me WTF.  Brain went into over drive as I recall several months previous having gone to discuss thing two being bullied by girls in classroom and instead of thing two's issues being addressed I was told that Thing two had given snot face a chinese burn.  I'd pulled appropriately appalled face and gone home where thing two had told me her and snot face had had a tiff in the line to the teacher, snot face had grabbed thing two's arm, so thing two had grabbed snot face's arm,  snot face started crying so teacher told Thing Two to say sorry.  End of story...or so you'd think.  Nope, school still investigating alleged assault.  Snot face mother convinced thing two some kind of deviant monster - also convinced I also some kind of evil wrong doing parent.  I disgusted and flew sobbing wildly to head teachers office where head teacher secretive, facetious and unsupportive.  I complain to school governors about lack of communication (no one told me we were under investigation 3 months down the line, failure to inform me how seriously snot face mother taken this, failure to ask thing two for her side of story, epic failure).  No one is going to vilify my child and not have me to answer to!!! I no accept this. I still deeply offended.  I mean how long does it take to deal with a tiff in a line of 8 yr olds. What planet does snot face mother live on!! She lives Cotton Wool Avenue, Planet Perfect. I phone Parent Line, they nice people. I so much stress I seek counselling.
But that was but day one and since then have taken Thing two and friend, HH camping.  See photo's.  HH more energy than thing two or I put together, lost 2 Lb on weekend playing badminton, cricket and spending whole hour on beach searching for lost car keys...(could only happen to me) they were going to get metal detector at one point but turned out I left keys in car and they laying on desk in campsite office.  Pheeew.  See photo's.
One other thing.  My mother went to Bolivia where she was robbed of camer and glasses.  Am sort of glad she back except that everytime we speak she has mental list of my own list of things to do list and runs through it all wanting to know when I am going to do stuff.  I've told her to stop doing this as it giving me additional unwanted pressure.  Whilst mother in South America running up mountains and looking at historical artefacts it was Fathers Day for some reason I googled bioligical father and found his death notice in his local paper in Taunton, he died 22nd March 2009.  No one told me.  Informed my mother last night on phone and she say "Ooh fancy that".  That was all she had to say. The girls great grandmother also passed away and girls got to go to their first funeral.
I'm putting some photo's on of the good times as its important to focus on them  - Happy days. Camping trip was to Hemsby and Norfolk Broads.  Highlight of weekend was swimming in the sea and having a seal swim past us about 10 foot away.  Awesome.  xx PS I know I should not refer to snot face as snot face but she really is rather snotty.