Helloo
I’ve been waiting all week to write something in my lovely new blog, I was hoping to report some nice events and inform you that I’d a) won the lottery, b) met the man of my dreams, c) saved the world. But sadly that hasn’t happened so I’ll just have to stick with real life and what a week it has been. Borderline dreadful to be honest. But what if this is as good as it gets and there's no more good news so I might as well get typing. They do say there is no such thing as failure, only feedback, so I am wondering why my mobile inbox is full of bitter texts from ex-boyfriend, crazed and manic texts full of hatred from Malaria who was my friend but is no longer along with a text from a man that I met in a pub complaining at me as to why I failed to text back and bad timing text from HRM. Oh and a text from the school warning me that there’s a paedophile on the loose and hovering outside Thing one’s school…Jesus. Yes, so this is my feedback..

I’ll go through them one by one I think, apart from the obvious ones, but first I’ll tell you about my Monday morning, I got up (as one does) very happy and as I pulled the milk from the fridge I accidently pulled a jug of fresh orange juice with it which coated entire fridge, floor and clothing, which I duly cleared up, apart from the fridge as I figured no one would see that so it could wait. I then delved into my handbag for my purse which unfortunately wasn’t done up and half a hundred weight of coins spilled into the bottom of the filth tardis. My porridge then exploded in the microwave and ended up resembling some sort of strange artex. Enough to wipe the smile off my face. It was at the tail end of this bad day that the first text arrived. Some history: Last week my friend Fizzy found a man for me…not that I require any help…and he came Highly Recommended hence his name which from now on will be HRM. Anyway she gave me his number and said he was awaiting me to contact, which I did. We had a few texts back and forth over the weekend and then he announces that Sorry, he met someone on Saturday and had some sort of encounter and that she was now coming round. Great! So that died a death before it even got started.
The bitter texts from Graffiti actually arrived the week before but they are still there and they are the reason for my closing down the old blog and starting this one, they tell me that he is entitled to read my blog seeing as he has a starring role. HELLLOOO. I don’t think so, this is my blog and the only star around here is ME ME ME… I am my leading lady thank you very much. There’s other stuff too but its just pure crap…hardly worth noting.
I then had my kitchen done, but I’d bought the wrong type of sink and seeing as I was only having the kitchen done so that I could have a new sink the whole thing is a complete waste of time and money….grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr On the bright side, a least I’m doing my bit for the sales at B & Q.
Now for the real trauma and gut churning trauma it is too…So bad that in fact I spend yesterday, (Thursday) feeling like my stomach was in my mouth and my arms felt like cotton wool… this is all to do with my Secret Lover and Malaria. It’s a bit tawdry so if you’re easily shocked look away now…
To be continued...../