Back by popular demand

Hello, I am back by popular demand. Today one of my audience of approximately 3 indicated that they rather missed my blog, so I am back. Things sure have changed around here! Yep, I no longer have naps in the afternoons, they have been replaced by an hour of aerobics. No more ready made meals either, they have been replaced by cooked from scratch creations by moi! Things actually ate celery, leeks and some other vegetables the other day. Disguised as soup. I no longer spend hours on facebook or computer but have been going out for walks with thing two and we have a nightly read-in. I have a new cat. It is white and I found it in the street wandering about trying to get food. Invited it in and it has never left. Only has half a tail mind you. Cannot believe how filthy it gets.....keeps climbing up chimney. Her name is Lily.
My Mother is looking forward to her wedding. I visited the other day to see dress. There we were examining the hem when we realised that thing two had been very quiet. Any parent will tell you that this is a bad sign. Suddenly she appeared in the parlour (yes mother has a parlour) holding a bloody great croaking frog!!!! I nearly died convulsing! After much hoo haring we persuaded her to put it back in the pond where she'd got it. My mothers wedding plans are going well, she has managed to get most amazing dress from Oxfam. She told me she wanted everyone to be as relaxed as possible. No dress code or formality etc etc. She said she didn't mind what anyone wore or anything, then she asks me what I'm wearing. "Oh, my Ted Baker silk dress" I says. The look of disappointment on her face! OMG! "Doesn't it make you look rather busy?" she enquires "I was hoping you'd wear your races dress...." Well of all the cheek. So, I'm now wearing my races dress. Then she starts on my hair.
Her "How are you wearing your hair?
Me "Errr curly, I expect"
Her with look of total dismay "Oh, but it would look so much better up"
Me "But I feel nice with curls"
Her "don't you care what you look like"
Me....unsaid but I was thinking. Mother you are treading on seriously dangerous ground here. ~Think this is rich coming from some one who once wore vertical stripes on trousers and horizontal stripes on top, I actually refused to go out of front door with her until she changed. This was some years ago.
I am wearing hair curly whether she like it or not.
Secret Lover and I have had several fundez-vous. He has enlisted my help to try and get into politics. So, I have suggested that step number one should be to join the masons. HA ha Grafitti would be turning in his grave, if he were dead, which he is not, as Thing two saw him the other day and informed us all that he has a new cardigan. Grafitti considered that the Masons were route of all evil and that they baby sacrificing gang of peads and murdering illuminati.
I don't believe a word of it. Think they just rather eccentric organisation of professionals who consider themselves a bit superior who wear strange aprons and have odd codes of conduct. Think it would be good to get invited to one of their shindigs. I looking forward to it. Have some other steps for Secret Lover to tread for his career in politics. Before I go one last thing. Today I have had brace fitted to upper teeth so I now speak with lisps. Am unable to say the words; Brenda, Tracey, Chris or Rowena. People with L's in their names should be ok.
Mint x