Terrible September

Well, September has got off to what can only be described as a dreadful start. After our Canary Holiday in Lanzagrote and Tenergrife I came back, did my 8 loads of washing, made 12 jars of jam and existed in quite a peaceful and serene state for a week which then became an even more tranquil when Thing Two went to Whitby for a week with POD. On her return we had the build up to going back to school, which has obviously now happened but not without trauma, tantrums and massive failures on my part. Firstly, and all of this is the tame part, I forgot to buy polo tops, I'd forgotten that I binned the whole lot of them at tail end of last term in a bid to get thing two to wear the 6 dresses that I'd bought, I figured if I threw the winter uniform in bin she'd have no choice...this worked...well it would wouldn't it. God I'm clever!!! Anyway, I'd forgotten all about the tops. Bought new trousers, hairbands, skirts etc etc but when we came to lay it all out it was quite apparent that something major missing, so I phoned the shop which had just shut and literally begged them to reopen. They having none of it so we had to camp out at 8:45 on the first day of term outside shop with all the other twits that had done the same thing. Late on first day of term...entirely down to silly Mummy. Thing two had a birthday and I had the entire family round...this is where it gets interested. You see the day before Thing two's birthday I had the prawn round for sunday dinner and I phoned thing one at 6:00pm to tell her to make her way home for dinner...did she come, did she heck. Nope she turned up at 9pm in the dark after I'd spent 3 hours going potty, phoning people and generally having kittens. Her excuse for being late was that she'd been attacked by a tramp in WH smith!!! Her friend Gobby had told her that the tramp she was stood next to was a tramp and a pervert and Thing one had exclaimed and overracted. Which annoyed tramp greatly who got hold of her outside shop by her shirt and told her he might be a tramp but she was a tramp too and that she was a fucking bitch!! Thing one now scared of being in bed at night. Anyway after that she encountered some boys one of whom Gobby had been out with..this guy is called Jay and is 3 years older than them and by all accounts is a nasty piece of work, he smokes, drinks, has quit school and will no doube end up in prison before long, well there's a bit of a problem with him and his friends and it ends up with him chasing thing one, gobby and their two friends wielding a knife...yes a knife..all the way down to the train station. Thing one was picked up by a friend of mind and taken home. I was out at Much Hadham Fete, watching a dog show when she got back and feeling scared of being alone she'd gone back out again, Gobby lost her phone and the pair of them decided to look for it, hence lateness. Thing one spend evening in room with her dinner and is grounded for one week. The day after thing two's birthday I went to work and Thing one snuck out, breaking her house arrest only to turn up dripping wet at 3pm having been chucked in the River Stort. Yes I at end of tether...totally and utterly. At Thing two's party entire family spent whole hour lecturing thing one about her appalling behaviour.
More to follow....
Minty xx
Ps I am bundle of nerves