Wind Down Weekend

I am currently lounging in a hotel room in the depths of Berkshire in a splendid spa hotel with Prawn. We've just had room service, eaten propped up on enormous white pillows in enormous beds, which are now covered in food debris. I had a side salad and she had an enormous sandwich. The reason for my meagre lunch is my 'Look 10 years younger in one month' diet. I've been on it for about 4 days now and have developed a major liking for ryvita and houmous. I've had no potatoes, no bread, no rice or pasta and no sugar whatsoever. Its weird but I seem to be breaking down the rules that I had about food and I feel fabulous. Got stacks of energy but I have been hungry quite a lot of the time. I'd rather like to loose a few pounds as well as a few years and have decided to treat myself to eyelash extensions if I can loose 5lb. This morning I swam half a mile and have spent a full 25 minutes in the gym doing various things. I've also been for a walk around the beautiful grounds here and have consumed about a zillions cups of tea which is on tap and is free.
I've managed to completely avoid Malaria even though our children go to the same school - no mean feat I can tell you. She's clearly been talking about me as one of her friends - the one that offered herself to me, details in previous blog, has deleted me. Who the hell wants to be friends with a fat swinger anyway. Not I. I should've known I was treading on dangerous ground when that all happened. Completely ignored every single thing that she sent, but have kept everything she has sent to me. She may not realise it but she's actually breached the Malcious communications Act and I can proove it. I told her that I think she's barking mad and a total drama queen. In response she has told me to Fuck myself...charming. Hope that this is now behind me. Think I shall snuggle down and watch Inspector Morse. Bliss.
xxx
Ps Mine, mine, mine, whats mine is mine. She'd do well to remember that no good ever came of intefering in someone elses relationship.