I'm walking down another street

I have to confess to having had a rather nasty dose of the January blues, which may account for the humour deficit in the last few posts. I'd rather have a full on cold to be honest.  Being in the grasp of an unknown greyness is pretty grim.  BUT it has lead me to take a look at my life, I was trying to work out what was wrong...you'd think if you felt crap you'd know why wouldn't you, but its not been that obvious to me.  I have had to dig very deep to crack this and very high to find a solution. 
I've been flying round my front room to music, I've been to the gym, I've been on my wii,  I've bought clothes, (check out my new shoes!!! Ar thy not soooo sooooo cute), bathed in baths with bubbles up to my neck, I've wached my favorite dvd's, had my hair done, eaten my favourite foods, had quality tme with the things, cleaned up, all the usual things that one does to give oneself a lift.  To no avail. (except the shoes, they have made me happy) So, I'm looking at my relationships, not just secret lover  (who is a turd) but all of them, and I'm thinking to myself, I was let down on New Years Eve, I was an option.  Worth remembering that the the last time someone went out to party with no care for me they were served divorce papers.  Of course this is different..there were other reasons for the divorce and I'm not married to the person who let me down,  but I feel devalued.  Time to evaluate things.  My mother gave me this.

1) I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost...I am hopeless
It isn't my fault
It talkes forever to fnd a way out.

2) I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I dont see it
I fall in again
I can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

3) I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in...it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is MY fault
I get out immediately

4) I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

5) I walk down another street  
by Portia Nelson

I've been trying to find the author to ask permission to share this with you but so far I haven't gotten that permission...will keep trying, in my search I'm finding some inspiring stuff.

I have not spoken of this to any of the people concerned...not a good idea at the moment - or probably ever,  facetious comments may roll from my mouth like a fast ball in a bowling alley or a cuckoo springing from its clock. Actions speak louder than words.
xxx
ps today I had more dentistry at great expense, whilst there I was laying back relaxing when the dentist said to me, can I have my thumb back and could you try not to bite... I'd sunk my teeth into him without even realising....perhaps there is hope for me as a vampire yet.